Many years ago I was confronted head on with this issue. One afternoon I was minding my own busines sitting quietly at my dining room table preparing for a bible study I was teaching when God revealed a deep issue in my own life. There were several things in my heart concerning my husband and as I sat there distracted by my thoughts, I asked the Lord to reveal to me how I should pray for him.
And this is the question (verse) God asked me that day.
Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Luke 6:41
Even as I write that verse out, the memory and the reality of that moment is still very fresh in my mind. I knew that I had spent too much time being irritated by the little specks in my husband's life, while I sat there with this HUGE log in my own eye.
It was a defining moment for me. A deep revelation of the condition of my own heart and life. God began to reveal to me all the things that I had held onto and all the places I had not allowed him to work through because I was too busy noticing all the little things in my husband's life.
Gary Thomas in his book, Sacred Influence shares a story that is a very visual reminder to us all that we should not let the little things that can irritate weigh us down, but instead be thankful for the husband God has blessed us with.
On the first anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, Lisa and I watched several interviews with women widowed as a result of those attacks. "What has changed most about your perspective in the past year?" one interviewer asked. The first widow to respond said, "The thing I can't stand is when I hear wives complain about their husbands." Every woman nodded her head,
and then another widow added, "It would make my day if I walked into the master bathroom and saw the toilet seat left up."
Their words have a profound ring. The little things we allow to annoy us seem trivial compared to the loss of blessings once taken for granted. In the face of their enormous loss, these women no longer cared about the little irritations; instead, they had to face the big, black hole of all that their husbands had done for them, suddenly sucked out of their lives forever. (pg. 49 Sacred Influence)
This morning as I prayed for my husband, I listed all those things that I am so thankful for. I want to focus my heart on these things. I made a list to remind myself. It is amazing how many good things there are if we only would choose to focus our thoughts there.
10 comments:
Wow, very convicting quote. Thanks for posting about your focus in this area, Chris.
ok, made me cry. The Lord must be doing a little convicting in my own heart :) Thank you for letting Him speak though you.
God has been working on this speck & log aspect in my heart as well. What a valuable insight. And a great quote/excerpt.
Thanks for speaking truth!
That is beautiful Chris. Shortly after we were married, I made a list of the things I loved about my husband too and he found it. I let him keep it. He has kept it for nearly 20 years.
It's such a blessing when we can bless them with such a beautiful thing. you should give him your list. It will bless him so much.
Thank you Chris, for being so real and transparent. Your example is such an encouragement.
I was similarly convicted a while ago. Here I was praying about all the things I wanted the Lord to change in my husband's life, and He gently made me understand it was my life He wanted to change. As I became more obedient to the things He was asking of me, I noticed that the things I had been asking about began to change.
How wise the Father is. It is so easy for us to look with a critical eye at our husband's when all along it is our own hearts that need some work.
These posts have been just wonderful Chris. Thank you.
I really enjoyed these last 2 posts. I am challenged to look beyond myself and be more aware of the blessings in my life--especially my husband!
Wow, what a beautiful and open post. Very convicting. Earlier this year I have been convicted to be my husband's prayer warrior and your blog postings help me stay inspired. Thank you. Angela
Chris,
I am so loving this study. God is giving you so much insight. He speaks to me through what He has taught you.
Thank you.
Darnelle
Heth is my sounding board, and she is so good at subtly reminding me of that verse when I complain, without even having to quote it to me. I'm so thankful that she doesn't let me get away with it. I'm working harder at being my husband's number one fan. Hearing those women who lost their husbands really speaks to me. And I want to do the same thing, make a list of all the things I'm thankful for about my husband and let him read it.
"Finally Brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things." Phil 4:8
This verse was on our wedding invitations AND in our vows. We promised to always look to and remember the GOOD things in eachother - the things we fell in love for and the things we have fallen farther in love with since. So, if I get annoyed or distracted by what is "wrong" with him, I immediately stop and focus on all that is "right" - and there is SO much of that to focus on!!!!
**I hope that it is ok that I posted here - you stopped by my place for the blog party and I was coming to visit you. This caught my eye - it is something I strive to improve on everyday! God Bless you for putting it out there!!!
Becky JO
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