His Greatest Fan

Do you see yourself as your husband's greatest fan? Ephesians 5:33 says, "....and let the wife see that she respects her husband." In the Amplified version it is translated, "And let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband - that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly!"


Do you make your husband a priority in your day? It seems like a silly question. After all he is an adult and I have children who need my attention and many other responsibilities. In Linda Dillow's book Creative Counterpart, She writes, "A man can have everything outside the home, but if the sincere respect of his wife and children is missing, he can be totally emasculated." Just in case you are wondering the word "emasculated" means to deprive of strength, vigor, spirit.

This is not a choice based on how we feel. If we are going to walk in obedience to His word than this can't be left out. (the same is true for the verse which talks about submission) It is easy to respect a husband who does what it says at the beginning of this verse, "love his own wife as he loves himself", but notice it doesn't say to only respect your husband if he does what you want him to do.

When he comes home at the end of the day we have the opportunity to see God work in the life of our husband and in us. Cheer him on! Prefer him! Make him your priority! (the kids will be blessed by this) Consider him! Respect him! And watch what the Lord will do in the life of your marriage.

The Excellent Wife ~ A Wife's Understanding of God

This week I am the girl who is running in late, catching my breath, finding my seat, and fumbling to get my book out and my thoughts together. I am late to the Reading Group, but I read my assignment for this week over and over.

Friday when the rest of the group was meeting, I was nursing a son who had two teeth pulled to make room for braces at the end of the month.

I took just a few paragraphs each morning and read through them over and over. Martha Peace is laying a foundation and I learn best by doing something over and over, including reading.

She shares, "This chapter...explains some of what you need to know about God and about yourself. Knowing these things, you will then see how you can trust God to protect you and why you need that protection"

She outlines God's Protective Authority very clearly:

God is perfect and we can completely trust that He knows what is best for us even though husbands are not perfect and many may not be saved. In spite of the husband's imperfections, God has chosen to place the wife under the authority of her husband. (1 Cor. 11:3, Eph. 5:23)

No husband has absolute authority over his wife because God is the absolute authority.

Therefore, when you are under your husband's (limited by God) authority, you are really putting yourself in the safest possible place - in God's will. God loves you and He is good. You need not be afraid.

Understanding God and His plan is so foundational before we can move forward and even find fulfillment in our role as a wife.

There are so many excellent posts this week from the others in the group. Please check them out at the Lux Venit Reading Group.

The Excellent Wife - Chapter 1

Before the day ends I wanted to jump in and join Leslie at Lux Venit for the discussion on chapter 1 of the book The Excellent Wife. I have had this book on my shelf and have skimmed through it periodically but have never sat down to read through it from cover to cover.

I don't have any deep thoughts to share this time. I am tired tonight. My husband has been very sick this week and I think my three year old is now fighting the same bug. I don't know if I have ever seen this man this sick with the flu in our almost twenty two years of marriage. He has been home (in bed most of the time) all week.

I read the chapter earlier in the week and it just again confirmed my desire to read this book.

In the book on page 4, Martha shares the will of God for every wife. "God's will for every Christian wife is that her most important ministry be to her husband (Genesis 2:18). After a wife's own personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, nothing else should have greater priority. Her husband should be the primary benefactor of his wife's time and energy, not the recipient of what may be left over at the end of the day. Whether her husband is a faithful Christian man or an unbeliever, God wants every Christian woman to be a godly wife - an excellent wife."

Several years ago as the Lord began to speak these truths to me and show me in His word what He had purposed my role as a wife to be, I found such freedom in this truth and I still do!

I am excited to hear God whisper a deeper understanding of His truths to my heart over the next several weeks. I love my husband deeply. I am so thankful to God for allowing me to be his wife. For more excellent thoughts on this first chapter visit the Lux Venit Reading Group.

Praying for our Husbands - Day 13

Today I am praying that I would build-up my husband through my words, actions, and even in my thoughts.

I was having lunch with a friend the other day at our local fast food restaurant. While our two little tykes ran up and down the play area, we spent the majority of our conversation on the topic of our husband's love languages. We quickly discovered that both men had the same primary and secondary language. I think we spent the remainder of our visit laughing at all the similarities in the things that minister to our husbands and speak love to them.

It is important that I pray for my husband daily, but it is also important that I build him up (or speak his language). Proverbs 31:11-12 says, "The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life."

I know that I am doing him good when I pray for him, but am I doing him harm in other ways?

This is the question that I often ask myself. As a result I came up with a short list of things "to do him good."

1. Send or email him a note, just because. Before the days of email, I would occasionally mail him a fun card to his office. He loved displaying them.

2. Listen to him without interrupting

3. Call him at his place of work just to say, “I love you!”

4. Let him know that you are proud of him. We are good at complimenting our husbands to others, but fail to tell them directly.

5. Tell him you are going to rub his back, or whatever…and then do it as planned

6. Buy his favorite snack, or drink and have it ready for him when he comes home. My husband loves a cold coffee drink. I don't buy them all the time, but occasionally I'll surprise him.

7. Do the one chore you always ask him to do for you without saying anything, maybe several times. Just because! For example: take the trash out, get the
car washed, or return the movies.

8. Provide a peaceful place of rest for him by encouraging him to relax and watch his favorite movie or provide a quiet place for him to finish a book.

9. Keep his trust. In other words, never say anything about him to others that would make him uncomfortable or embarrassed.

10. Build him up with your words. When he comes home, greet him! Thank him for all that he does for your family.

Praying for our Husbands - Day 3

It is so easy to be blinded to the blessing we have in our husbands. I am easily bogged down at times with the little things, even when it comes to praying for him. I am tempted to look at only those areas which "I" want changed.

Many years ago I was confronted head on with this issue. One afternoon I was minding my own busines sitting quietly at my dining room table preparing for a bible study I was teaching when God revealed a deep issue in my own life. There were several things in my heart concerning my husband and as I sat there distracted by my thoughts, I asked the Lord to reveal to me how I should pray for him.

And this is the question (verse) God asked me that day.

Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Luke 6:41

Even as I write that verse out, the memory and the reality of that moment is still very fresh in my mind. I knew that I had spent too much time being irritated by the little specks in my husband's life, while I sat there with this HUGE log in my own eye.

It was a defining moment for me. A deep revelation of the condition of my own heart and life. God began to reveal to me all the things that I had held onto and all the places I had not allowed him to work through because I was too busy noticing all the little things in my husband's life.

Gary Thomas in his book, Sacred Influence shares a story that is a very visual reminder to us all that we should not let the little things that can irritate weigh us down, but instead be thankful for the husband God has blessed us with.

On the first anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, Lisa and I watched several interviews with women widowed as a result of those attacks. "What has changed most about your perspective in the past year?" one interviewer asked. The first widow to respond said, "The thing I can't stand is when I hear wives complain about their husbands." Every woman nodded her head,
and then another widow added, "It would make my day if I walked into the master bathroom and saw the toilet seat left up."

Their words have a profound ring. The little things we allow to annoy us seem trivial compared to the loss of blessings once taken for granted. In the face of their enormous loss, these women no longer cared about the little irritations; instead, they had to face the big, black hole of all that their husbands had done for them, suddenly sucked out of their lives forever. (pg. 49 Sacred Influence)

This morning as I prayed for my husband, I listed all those things that I am so thankful for. I want to focus my heart on these things. I made a list to remind myself. It is amazing how many good things there are if we only would choose to focus our thoughts there.

Praying for our Husbands - Day 1

I am so happy that March is here. I am not sure completely why, I just am. It may be because spring is just around the corner.


The last two months have been very hard. For one it is winter and cold. The kids have been in and out and then in and out of school. It makes for some very interesting weeks.


The loss of my biological dad in January still finds me asking many questions and I find tears surfacing at the strangest and most inconvenient times.


Our church is in the middle of 40 days of prayer and fasting. Today is the 20th day. Tonight we prayed together as a family for our community, our church, and our home. Our church family has filled a board with their names so that everyday some one is praying and fasting. It has been a sweet time of hearing testimonies of God's grace and power.


I too have enjoyed the time. But, I have also been extremely challenged by it as well. The flesh screams very loud for attention!


Over the next 20 days I am adding my husband to my list. Yes, I pray for him regularly, but the Lord has reminded me of a devotion I read recently that convicts my heart deeply. It is this devotion by Lisa Ryken in the book Devotions for Ministry Wives that reminds me of the privilege I have to pray for him faithfully. I pray you would join me in praying not only for your own husband, but also for your Pastor as well.


Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should. Ephesians 6:19-20

One of the most challenging sermons I've ever heard was based on this text from Ephesians, urging believers to pray for their preachers. The apostle Paul was a brilliant preacher and a bold evangelist, yet he recognized that, in order for his ministry to be effective, he needed people to pray for him. Preaching the gospel is a solemn task. To proclaim the Word of God a
preacher needs words from God, so that he will depend on God's Word and not on his own skill. he needs the freedom and boldness to proclaim the gospel fearlessly, not telling people what they want to hear but what God wants them to hear. A preacher must proclaim the mystery of the gospel, not a carefully calculated plan for moral improvement. He must make sinners uncomfortable with their sin and point them to Jesus Christ. Finally, ministers need endurance in tribulation. They need to bear the burdens of their congregation as they stay tender to the pain of sin.

By the end of the sermon I was in tears. I realized how much I need to pray for my husband and how little I actually did pray for him. Even more than that, I felt the weight of his burden to preach the gospel. As his wife I must bear that burden with him and pray for him faithfully.

Lord, thank you for the faithful preachers who open your Word to us plainly. Thank you for my husband and his gift for proclaiming the gospel. Please give him boldness and endurance. Please forgive me for praying infrequently and weakly. Equip me to be his constant prayer warrior. Amen.

I am His favor!

This is from a devotional for ministry wives. (this particular one was written by Jani Ortlund) I have tagged it in the book and this morning I spent some time meditating on this wonderful truth. I am His favor!

You are God's favor to your husband. It's as though, when God created your husband, he said, "How can I bless this man who is going to serve me all of his life?" How can I show him my favor? I know. I'll make (fill in your name) to love him and help him. I'll knit their hearts together. As she follows me, she'll bring him good, not harm. He will develop confidence in her and value her more than any of life's treasures"God has chosen you to live with a man who is devoted to serving others for the glory of Christ. Your husband needs you. You are the one he turns to for comfort and strength and counsel. He needs your support and participation in his labors. He needs you to "favor" him by understanding and respecting the eternal importance of his work.

How can you be God's favor to your husband?

• Build him up with your words (Ephesians 4:29)
• Watch over the affairs of your household (Proverbs 31:27)
• Leave vengeance to God (Romans 12:19)
• Do what is right, without giving way to your fears (1 Peter 3:6)

You are God's favor to your husband. God made you to help meet your husband's physical, intellectual, and spiritual needs. Recommit yourself to embrace your marriage and bring good to you husband all the days of your life.

Do you know you are God's favor to your husband?

Happy 21st Anniversary!

It was a wonderfully overcast Southern California June morning in 1986 when we took our vows to love and cherish each other. We were so optimistic and fearless about our future together. We made a commitment to each other and to God that we would spend our lives in service to Him. Through the years we have endured many trials only to discover that the vows we exchanged twenty-one years ago have been strengthened through God's work in our lives. Thanks for being the only one who can melt my heart with your smile, who never leaves the house without a kiss and does not let a day go by without telling me you love me! Happy 21st Anniversary! I love you more than you will ever know!