This morning my household duties were calling out for attention. I took inventory and realized places in every room were looking at me saying, "pick my up", or "put me away", or "wash me". I had two piles of laundry sorted in each of the kids room and three loads in my room.
Often times when my home is screaming are the days that I am most tempted to forgo my time spent in God's word and yet it is these days which I need it most.
So this morning, in the midst of a sink of dishes, a floor that needed sweeping, clothes to be folded, and my own desire to finish up my notes for tomorrow's bible study, I sat down to my Life Journal. Our reading for today was from Exodus 3,4,5 and Luke 22.
Title: The "I" worries 1/22/07
Moses said to the LORD, "O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue."
The LORD said to him, "Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the LORD ? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say."
But Moses said, "O Lord, please send someone else to do it."
I have read this portion of scripture many times. But something stuck out for me this morning. The conversation Moses was having with God beginning at the burning bush and continuing on into chapter 5. God had revealed himself to Moses, performed miracles for him personally, and was speaking directly to him. (How much more could a person want) And even with all this Moses was still questioning God. As I read I am a bit intrigued with this conversation going back and forth with Moses asking questions and God supplying answers. Finally, the last excuse Moses gives for not being the one that should go, is he is not talented or capable or eloquent etc. etc. in his speech. God responds with again more words revealing who He is and some personal instruction, "Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say." But Moses still replies, "let someone else do it." Matthew Henry in his commentary says, "But while we blame Moses for shrinking from this dangerous service, let us ask our own hearts if we are not neglecting duties more easy, and less perilous."
I found myself thinking, "come on Moses, what more do you want?", but before I could finish the thought, the question in my own mind arose of my own questioning of God. The easy things I am asked to do. He paid the ultimate price, has already demonstrated His unconditional love, and has sent a helper, comforter, encourager in the Holy Spirit. How often do I try and negotiate with God? How many times have I missed an opportunity to complete His services because "I" worries got in the way.
Lord, Send me forth, not in my own strength, but with the words, "I will help you speak and will teach you what to say", imprinted on my heart.