My fifteen year old daughter has been at home sick the past two days. This morning we had a conversation about babies. She commented that she wished that Coleman, her 2 year old brother was still a tiny baby. (the picture to the left is my daughter at 13 a few days after Coleman was born) She mentioned that when she has children she will already know how to change a diaper, dress a baby, give them a bath, but there still may be some things that she would need help with. I told her that I would be there to help her and she smiled. She went on to say that she loved large families and hoped to have four children. This was music to my ears. Why? Not because at some point she has expressed the opposite desire or because I have some fear that being the oldest child of five children that we had somehow discouraged her from desiring a large family, but in a culture in which young women are encouraged to be independent, powerful, self-absorbed, and to "take care" of themselves and not rely on a man, a young lady who desires to pursue a life as a wife and mom is not given that box to check as she comes to the end of her high school education.
You may be wondering if we are encouraging our daughter to go to college. Absolutely, if this is the direction we feel God is leading her in. As parents we don't need any help encouraging her to pursue her dreams and desires for a career. We are bombarded by media, friends, school, and other influences that speak to those desires. But where is it spoken for young girls to look at the role in which God created them for as a most high and holy calling? Who is showing and encouraging young girls to live a life devoted to her husband and children? Personally, I feel the job is best completed through women who recognize the truth of the word of God and begin to teach these truths to their daughters, granddaughters, and other young ladies God places in their life to influence.
Preparing my daughter for a life of biblical womanhood includes preparing her for singleness as well. 1 Cor. 7:34 says, "There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband." Teaching my daughters to trust in the sovereignty of God over their life, even the hope of marriage and children someday can be an anxious and troubling time if there is not a sure reliance upon the providential care of the Sovereign God.
Our oldest daughter is typical of other girls her age. My husband and I prayerfully plan to continue to guide and teach her these truths. We hope to model them in our relationship and through the teaching of the word of God. She (or we) may stumble and get muddy along the path, but we continually put our trust in God for wisdom, strength, and help as we parent our children.
15 comments:
I have always been glad that I have boys. It seems easier, to me, to teach a man to be a Godly man than to teach a woman how to be a Godly woman. Our culture so agressivly contradicts the Word in this area. I read a book, Kiss the Girls and Made them Cry by Lisa Bevere. It is so good at telling young girls how to focus on God before letting your romantic love be awakened. It's all about finding out who you are, as a woman, in Christ. The ultimate self esteem book! After reading it, I felt like I could have a daughter, if God should give me one. I highly recomend this book to anyone with daughters.
I really enjoyed this post. As a mother of a 5-year-old daughter, I look often to the future and things I should be doing now to help her grow. You and Kim (Lifesong) have really encouraged me in this area and given me things to think about. It is so wonderful to have godly women to look to for guidance in what lies ahead.
AMEN sister! You KNOW my heart on that!
My oldest is 5, and I feel like I spend so much time thinking about her future and the decisions she will make. It is okay for her to be a wife and mother, eventhough to the world it isn't a way to measure success. Thanks for post such encouraging words.
i so enjoyed Lauren on Friday night. she is a beautiful young woman. what a picture to cherish!!
Your daughter has a precious heart. May it always stay that way.
I whole heartedly agree,Chris! Are you surprised? I didn't think so! May God bless you as you continue raising your daughter to be a godly wife,mother,or single woman. It is good to see families doing this!
One of the things I love about having older children and younger ones is the fact that my older daughters are learning so much about being a mom--it is hands on training!
She is a beautiful girl!
Kim
I just loved your article. Your daughter will be so glad for all those lessons on babies and family. I totally agree with your decision to encourage her towards college as well! I can speak from experience it was a good thing, and I still want a big family- not a career, believe me:-)
Amen.
You have set a wonderful example to your daughters of being a godly wife and mother Chris. You are an example for so many of us. Thank you for encouraging us.
These are issues I struggled with as a young woman. Your daughters will thank you for thinking of these things on their behalf. I hope and pray I can raise my daughters even half as well as you are raising yours. Thanks for being a great light to us moms.
Beautiful, beautiful post! Your lovely daughter has a lovely attitude and heart.
I love that picture!
Oh how wonderful to have so many siblings and such love in the house! I must say I wish I had a 13 yr old daughter to snuggle my little baby when he/she arrives!
THANKS for the congrats too! :)
I'll bet she's an excellent babysitter, too!
Interesting thoughts here. I went to college, and used my education for a few years, but now I am not (in a paying professional manner). However, I sort of think of college as "finishing school." Is that silly?
I love your posts! I grew up in a large Christian family also and wanted at least 6 kids. My poor hubby he only wanted 2. Pamela Jean let's not contribute to the world population problem...let's just replace ourselves.
I always agreed and didn't push the subject. AND then I had Irish Twins--I was pregnant for 2 YEARS with the exception of 5 weeks.
I delivered two 10 pound babies (pelvis was built for 7-8 pound babies I was told) with NO medication. I was convinced it would harm the babies. I did it twice in the same year--WHAT was I thinking?
6 months after our daughter was born( 2nd child) I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. This disease has no cure and scientists believe it is genetic.
My husband and I made arrangements to never get pregnant again. Don't want to pass on this horrible disease. So we stopped at 2.
I honestly believe if I hadn't gotten pregnant again so soon we never would have had two children.
God does work in mysterious ways. I adore my two children...a boy and a girl what more could I ask for?
Pammy Jean
Chris, I loved this, too. I've watched our oldest sort of come full circle on this - from being upset at having to "share me" with so many siblings on one side, to loving the company and camaraderie on the other. We talk matter of factly about marriage, but you've brought up a point I think we need to revisit...the possibility of singleness. Hmm. Not sure we've ever really discussed that.
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