If you are weary in mothering toddlers...read this

My sixteen year old daughter just emailed me this from school. Yes, she attends public school and has access to her email account everyday during study hall. As I look down at my toddler and the continual demands he places on me, the constant picking up, the day to day discipline, I also remember when this child was in this stage and wondering what choices will she make, who will she become, will she listen to God's voice, will she choose to make Him Lord and Savior?

Many days we are still in the midst of constant demands, instruction, discipline, but then I get a glimpse of what God is doing in the life and heart of this child. This is not to brag or toot my own horn, (believe me, if I could change some things I would) but to encourage us as moms that all the time and energy we give to these children in teaching and instructing them in the ways of the Lord is not done in vain.

"Mom read the forward! it totally spoke to me about what we talked about last nite."

The Daily Bible Verse : Email Edition May 16th, 2008~
John 5:18-19~

If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world.That is why the world hates you.

Commentary:
Since Satan is the one who dominates the evil world system in rebellion against God (14:30), the result is that the world hates not only Jesus, but those who follow Him (2 Tim. 3:12). Hatred toward Jesus means also hatred toward the Father who sent Him (v. 23).
MacArthur, J. J. (1997, c1997).
The MacArthur Study Bible (electronic ed.) (Jn 15:18).Nashville: Word Pub.

Last night after we stayed up way too late talking and I finally said good night to her, I prayed! And then I prayed some more! I knew that I could not meet the need this child was facing. I can't fix everything even though I desperately want to. So, I laid my head on my pillow and said, "Father, she is your daughter and I love her. Would you minister to her? I am helpless here. I want to fix all of this and make life easy for her. But I know better. My ways are not your ways. My plan for her is not your plan. I trust you with her completely. Amen. "

Parenting thoughts...

We all know that being a parent is one of the most exhausting roles we can have. We pray for a little one to fill our arms, only to be totally amazed that such a little person can go through a room that has just been picked up and make you feel as if you have never lifted a finger. We tearfully watch as they turn school age and slowly gain more independence and for the most part the approaching years seem to provide a small amount of relief as we watch them grow and learn. And then one day the child that seemed to move from one clothing size to another year after year suddenly has an unbelievable growth spurt in which you now wonder if it is your destiny to give away perfectly good clothing. And before you know it, what is standing before you is the shape and size of an adult, but is still growing in wisdom.



This is where I am at with my oldest daughter.


Oh, how I would love to share about some of our conversations. They are so precious and I am trying to take mental notes, listen well, and jot down some of things she is sharing. I would never want to embarrass her, so I will have to keep these to myself for now.



Today when I picked her up after speech practice, we had one such conversation. I saw a small growth in maturity and was so thankful for the way she was trusting the Lord for things to take place in her life. (you may be thinking this has to do with boys, but it didn't) I don't take these little things for granted, and I am thankful to the Lord each time she expresses her desire to walk in His ways.



Often times when our kids are teens, we are so concerned about what they might be doing, that we miss what they are not doing. I often find myself wanting to focus only on those areas that lack wisdom and understanding, and sometimes fail to acknowledge so much of the good stuff.



Tomorrow she is participating in her High School's individual speech competition. She was originally set up to perform one speech in the acting category, but today fifteen minutes before their practice concluded, her speech coach (while looking directly at her) told the group that one of the students had dropped out in the story telling category and she was hoping someone would be willing to take her place. My daughter responded to her direct eye contact and agreed to pick up a second speech. So, here it is Friday night and she is upstairs rehearsing for this second speech. She told me in the car that her coach was elated that she would be willing to do this.



I am so proud of her. Not because she has another opportunity to win a competition, oh no, but for her willingness to be inconvenienced to help her coach out and even the rest of the team. If anything, her first speech (which is amazing), now will have to share the energy and effort with this last minute addition and will not get all of her attention on this eve of the competition.

Often times in our self centered culture, most of us would never take on something so last minute unless we had something to gain. I know that her intentions for doing this has nothing to do with herself, but has everything to do with what someone else needed at the moment.

I can't help but think...Wisdom.

Join me in praying for our children

Many years ago when my oldest daughter was entering 1st grade and I felt completely unqualified to be her teacher, I took this prayer from Stormie Omartian's book, The Power of a Praying Parent and adapted it to meet the needs of my child. I now pray this prayer over all four of my school age children and can easily pray it for my two year old as well.

Praying for our children as with all prayer does not have to be eloquent or fancy. It is simply acknowledging our great dependence on God to care for, train, and teach the children He has blessed us with.

"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one.You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
Deuteronomy 6:4-7

Lord,
Today is the first day of a new school year. Thank you that my children are healthy and excited about a new year. Thank you for the provision of new pencils, glue sticks, shiny new shoes and the many blessings you have provided for our family.

I pray that each child will have a deep reverence for You and Your ways. May each child hide Your Word in their heart like a treasure. Give them a good mind, a teachable spirit, and an ability to learn. Instill in them a desire to attain knowledge and skill, and may they have joy in the process. Above all, I pray that they will be taught by You, for Your Word says that when our children are taught by You they are guaranteed peace. You have also said, "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; but fools despise wisdom and instruction." (Proverbs 1:7)

I pray they will respect and obey the wisdom of their dad and I and be willing to be taught by us. May they also have the desire to be taught by the teachers You bring into their life. I know that you handpick each one, Lord, and may they be godly people from whom each of my children can learn.
Help them to excel in school for your glory. Make the pathways of learning smooth and not something with which they must strain and struggle. Connect everything in each of their minds the way it is supposed to be so that they have clarity of thought, organization, good memory, and strong learning ability.

I say to each of them according to Your Word, "Apply your heart to instruction, and your ears to words of knowledge" (Proverbs 23:12)
"May the Lord give you understanding in all things" (2 Timothy 2:7)

I pray today as I have prayed everyday that each of my children will hunger and thirst for Your righteousness. Go before them, protect them, watch over them through each day of this new school year. Thank you Lord, for each of my children, Lauren (sophomore), Kelsey (sixth grade), Theo (fifth grade), Hunter (1st grade), and of course the two year old at home. Give me patience and understanding as I teach his little hands to play softly, watch his little feet as they run through the house, and help him to learn to sit and listen as I read.

Lord, thank you for the awesome privilege of being a mom. May my children learn, while growing older that You are the source for all beauty, all knowledge, and all wisdom. This I ask in your most worthy name. Amen.

School Starts Thursday - Join me in prayer!

I can remember the feeling so well. The new clothes neatly layed across the chair usually with the same outfit hanging in the closet but in a different color. The new wallaby's barely out of the box that had just been purchased from Thom McCan. And of course who can forget the new underwear and socks. Never could I start a new school year without them. My favorites were the year I received the days of the week swirled in cursive across the front of each pair. New clothes, shoes, and even underwear are childhood memories of a new school year beginning.

I remember the butterflies fluttering through my stomach the night before and waking up while it was yet dark. My face was shining, nails were trimmed and I was ready for the new year.

Through the years I have tried to create some traditions with my kids for each new school year. Of course, it has always included at least one new outfit even it means a new pair of shorts and shirt found on the summer clearance rack since the weather is usually very hot. Each child gets to go out with either mom or dad to shop for a new pair of shoes. And who can forget school supplies. My kids look forward to filling their backpacks with new folders, pens and glue sticks.

But a few of our favorite traditions is the ridiculously huge breakfast we prepare and dad's back to school prayer for each kid. And who can forget the picture taken of the whole group every year in the same spot. The kids love looking back at the changes and their growth and I do too.

This year my oldest daughter who will be a sophomore at the high school is planning to meet with a group of friends at the school early on the first day to pray for their school year. I am so excited that they have taken the initiative to do this.

I would like to invite each of you to join me on Thursday morning as I pray for my own children, even if you have already started your school year. I would love to invite everyone over to pray in my living room but that is a physical impossibility or maybe not if you live near me ;). But what a wonderful opportunity we have to pray together via technology. I used to pray with one or two friends over the phone. Hopefully, Thursday I will be praying with many more.

Join me Thursday morning (August 23rd) as we pray for our children as they start a new school year. I will post a prayer for my own children. I would love to join you in prayer for yours. I will try and set up a Mr. Linky (this will be my first time) so that we can all hold hands and agree in prayer together for our children.

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Psalm 127:3

I admit it

Are you tired?
Are you weary?
Do you have a new baby or toddlers who seem to keep you up at night or maybe up all day long?
Are you ready for the routine of the school year more than anyone else in the house?
Do you have teenagers whose active busy life keep your knees pressed to the ground and ears pressed to everything else?

Are you like me asking yourself how did I get here?

My two year old has been waking up off and on at night for no apparent reason. He doesn't always settle back down easy and so it takes a little time to get him back to sleep.
Never can I ever remember a summer that I was looking forward to school beginning. I completely hate to admit it, but I need routine and my children are ready for it too. I have provided little to no routine this summer and the effects of this have shown their ugly head.
This year (meaning school year) my oldest daughter turns sixteen and my younger daughter turns thirteen. For many of my dear friends this day has already come and gone in their lives, but I feel my kids are all approaching these years now in almost lightening speed. Can we just slow down a bit so I can catch my breath and ponder just for a moment that the girl who I just carried in my arms and slept in the bend of my arm those first few nights is almost sixteen? I have just barely figured how to live with one teenager and now it is time for two. It is probably not much different than when my second or third or fourth child were born and I wondered how I would do it.

I have sensed we are entering a new season.
I am tired! I am weary! I need the routine that will be here in a few weeks. I admit it!

Potty Training and Driver's Training

As a newly married twenty two year old young woman never did I imagine those two things happening at the same time in my life or better yet on the same day. Never! I planned to have four children two to two and half years apart not five children with a differing amount of years between each one. But we make a plan and God orders our steps. Proverbs 16:9 says, "The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps."


So here I find myself some twenty years later with five kids ranging in age from two to fifteen teaching my oldest to drive and potty training my youngest all in the same day.


My two year old son has all of a sudden taken this huge interest in going to the bathroom on the potty. It's not much different than my fifteen year old asking if she can drive every time we get ready to leave the house. He pulls on his diaper and says something that I interpret as "potty", she grabs the keys and says, "can I drive?" (sorry LT) I am not ready for either one. Don't get me wrong I would love to get rid of diapers and I would also love to have a child who could drive herself places . But just as it will take patience for my little guy to learn how to use the bathroom on his own, I am patiently letting my daughter drive as often as possible in order to give her alot of experience before she receives a real "able to leave home and drive somewhere alone" driver's license.


But each day as one child is gaining more and more independence and I am wanting to reach out and pull her back I look down and see my youngest holding onto my leg. I have found myself reflective of how as moms we often want to pull back and hold on to our children who are slowly moving further away from needing us every day and yet often times in the weariness of carrying for our young children wishing for a moment of solitude and quiet. I find myself living in this place. My oldest will turn sixteen in the fall, my youngest just two and a half. She is reaching for more and more independence, he is still reaching for me. I don't want to wish away either one even if it means in one day I am chasing a two year old around the house and reading "brown bear brown bear" for the thousandth time and what seems like minutes later driving down the highway with my daughter as we talk about driving safely, her desire to serve God with her life and where she would like to go to college.


This makes me walk a little slower (not because I am older), but because I am fully aware of how quickly these days will go by.

Music to my ears...

My fifteen year old daughter has been at home sick the past two days. This morning we had a conversation about babies. She commented that she wished that Coleman, her 2 year old brother was still a tiny baby. (the picture to the left is my daughter at 13 a few days after Coleman was born) She mentioned that when she has children she will already know how to change a diaper, dress a baby, give them a bath, but there still may be some things that she would need help with. I told her that I would be there to help her and she smiled. She went on to say that she loved large families and hoped to have four children. This was music to my ears. Why? Not because at some point she has expressed the opposite desire or because I have some fear that being the oldest child of five children that we had somehow discouraged her from desiring a large family, but in a culture in which young women are encouraged to be independent, powerful, self-absorbed, and to "take care" of themselves and not rely on a man, a young lady who desires to pursue a life as a wife and mom is not given that box to check as she comes to the end of her high school education.

You may be wondering if we are encouraging our daughter to go to college. Absolutely, if this is the direction we feel God is leading her in. As parents we don't need any help encouraging her to pursue her dreams and desires for a career. We are bombarded by media, friends, school, and other influences that speak to those desires. But where is it spoken for young girls to look at the role in which God created them for as a most high and holy calling? Who is showing and encouraging young girls to live a life devoted to her husband and children? Personally, I feel the job is best completed through women who recognize the truth of the word of God and begin to teach these truths to their daughters, granddaughters, and other young ladies God places in their life to influence.

Preparing my daughter for a life of biblical womanhood includes preparing her for singleness as well. 1 Cor. 7:34 says, "There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband." Teaching my daughters to trust in the sovereignty of God over their life, even the hope of marriage and children someday can be an anxious and troubling time if there is not a sure reliance upon the providential care of the Sovereign God.

Our oldest daughter is typical of other girls her age. My husband and I prayerfully plan to continue to guide and teach her these truths. We hope to model them in our relationship and through the teaching of the word of God. She (or we) may stumble and get muddy along the path, but we continually put our trust in God for wisdom, strength, and help as we parent our children.