Super Bowl Sunday

Groceries for finger foods, drinks, and dessert...$23.87

Preparation of wings, veggies, and other foods...1 hour

Time spent eating, laughing, screaming and holding our breath while watching the big game...aprox. 4 hours

Cleaning up afterwards...30 minutes

Husband and Wife dancing during half-time show with five kids...priceless!

My Five

Outside Disneyland in Anaheim, California at Christmas

It's January

I have not blogged in so long, I don't even know where to begin. So I'll start with today. It is cold! It is well below zero and it is just plain cold. I don't think two weeks in California over Christmas helped me to prepare for the frigid temps we have had the last few days.

I took this photo yesterday for Carolyn. Sorry, no cute kids standing outside in this stuff. It was - 26 when I poked my head outside to grab a photo. We watched as the wind blew and drifted snow up against our house forming all kinds of fun shapes.
I loved Hunter's comment, "mom it may be cold outside but the snow is beautiful, especially the snow that has not been touched." He is right! The kids have been home from school for two days. I think they had cabin fever more yesterday than today. But then again I was gone for part of the day and maybe it was me.

I have been thinking alot lately about the start of a new year. I love a fresh clean page in a new journal or the look of an empty canvas waiting to be filled in with vibrant colors. For the last several weeks I have had a hopeful expectation over things.

In December I started working my way through Nancy Guthrie's study book on the Book of Hebrews titled, "Hoping for Something Better." But I couldn't get past the words, "In Jesus" in the second verse of chapter one. I was stuck. I knew that I needed to plant myself there and just let the words soak into my heart. Nancy says in her book, "In Jesus, God is saying, "I want to show you who I am." We would never know God if he did not speak to us. and he wants us to know him for who he really is, not for who we want to make him to be. So many times we want to make him into a God who suits our liking. We hear people say, "Well, the God I believe in would never.... or I believe God is....almost as if we can determine what God is like merely by the whims of our own imaginations. God doesn't need our help in designing his personality or deciding what he should be like. He is I AM, the eternal, self-existing one. And he wants us to see him and know him for who he really is." Nancy then takes you through the character of God. And this is where I am planted. The more I learn, the more I realize how little I know. I feel like a wilted plant sometimes who is instantly propped back up once I have been given a drink of the Living Word.

Last week as we watched the introduction video on the Book of Esther, Beth Moore shared with us that the book offers tremendous "hope". She defined biblical hope as an anxious expectation. I love when God ties things together for me and keeps speaking the same things over and over. It sometimes takes a neon light flashing "hope" to get my attention.

Tomorrow marks a year since I received a phone call that my dad had died. My heart still aches at times over what I never knew. As a young teenage girl I had always dreamed of spending Christmas with my dad, just once. I never did. I know why God wants to teach me about hope, His hope. He desires to bring hope to those places in our hearts that only He can fill.

In Christ, I have tremendous hope for 2009. Without Him there is no hope.

Tom

Tom is my brother. I actually have three brothers, all younger than me and no sisters. Growing up they teased me as the bossy older sister always trying to keep them in line. Tom is the middle one and shhhh don't tell anyone but today he is my favorite. He is very tall, six foot three (I think), warm, kind, gentle, sensitive and has a great sense of humor. He has been the best uncle EVER to my kids.

One of my most cherished memories is watching his six foot three frame dance with my oldest daughter when she was a toddler to her favorite Barney song. He could do all the moves and the two of them would put on quite a show singing and dancing.

So, you can only imagine how excited I was when his first child was born last November. I couldn't wait to see him with his own little girl. In January, I had to make a quick trip to California and seeing this new addition was a priority. When I arrived at their house my brother and his beautiful wife were pretending to be busy at the kitchen sink as they watched me walk up the driveway. But what they were waiting for was my reaction to this...

As I opened the front door, she was sitting there, waiting, all by herself. It made me cry. I am so proud of him, the father and husband he is, and all that God is doing in his life.

I miss you Tom!

a little summer randomness...

This past weekend I splurged a little and bought a large bag of Bing cherries. OK, I splurged alot!
But every last cherry , stem, and seed was completely worth it.


They were fresh, firm, and very sweet. Yum!


Baseball and Softball season is now officially over. Baseball ended this past weekend with my son's team winning their end of the season tournament.

Softball ended last night with my daughter's team winning their end of the season tournament also with a nail biting extra inning 11-10 victory!

Go Angels!

They both played really hard this year! Last night as my husband and I were sitting enjoying our last bag of ball park popcorn with two diet Dr. Pepper's, we were a bit sad that our spots on the bleachers in the warm summer sun would have to wait for our return until next season. After all for the past six weeks, this is where we ate our dinner most evenings, carefully balancing five hot dogs, bottles of water, and occasionally some nachos on the hard wooden benches or the metal bleachers.

And finally, I find it a little strange that the very river which caused so much destruction brought us some pleasure over the weekend. The weather was absolutely perfect and my eleven and eight year old boys tried water skiing on a Ski Skimmer for the first time. They loved it and actually did pretty good their first time out.

Hunter did great and wasn't about to let go of the rope...








Theo was a natural!



And what a better way to start our family vacation. We have been home catching up on so many things...and leaving some (many) things until later. Tomorrow we head out together, just the seven of us for some family time. I did not have a lot of expectations for summer vacation this year other then it must include water, sun, and a place where our primary article of clothing would include a bathing suit and maybe a few shorts and t-shirts. I think we are there....

...the rest of our snow day in pictures

after they cleaned their rooms, this is what the rest of our day looked like...






boys working on a snow fort...




a three year old enjoying the path he was carving in the un-touched snow and looking back at his foot prints....


















sitting down to warm up on pizza and hot cocoa for lunch....








listening to a sixteen year old share about her speech competition over the weekend...

peeking into the room where a eleven and twelve year old enjoyed playing together...

observing little hands making play dough creatures...






and guess what two giggling boys came up with all on their own, "daddy and mommy"
Yes, here we are...






And to end our day...my seven year old prepared a box of brownies for dessert while I made dinner. He did everything on his own. I only set the oven temp and of course put the brownies in the oven and took them out.

They turned out delicious! He's quite the little chef.

It was a great day!

A Daughter's Heart

sigh...Thank you to those of you who have prayed for me over the past week and have sent cards and emails with thoughtful words and sympathy. They have blessed me so much.



On January 11, 2008 my dad died. I received a phone call on Wednesday January 16th from the Los Angeles County Coroner's office. He lived alone and was not married. His neighbor found him in his apartment. He had only been married to my mother for a very short time when they were very young. I was his only child. My mom re-married when I was still a baby and my step-dad became my father and I thank the Lord for him.

There is so much about his life that I could say, so many things that are difficult, so many things that are very sad. When the young woman from the coroner's office asked me the question, "do you know a insert here the first, middle and last name of my father?" I knew before she said her next sentence and even though everything in me knew that this moment was long over due, that he was gone. I wanted to scream "no!" "not yet" "I have questions I need to ask and things I would like to know." The kind young woman was patient and understanding of my place. I took deep breaths and tried hard to keep my composure but it was impossible. She gently walked me through the steps and carefully answered my questions between my own moments of weeping and wishing I had one more moment with him. I remember when my mom lost her mother. The crying coming from the other room that seemed to resonate from somewhere deep within her soul. I understood. But the sorrow was different. I cried for what I never had and what I always longed to know. I cried at the very thought of him being all alone in death. I cried as I thought that no one should die, leaving it in the hands of a county employee to search for your next of kin. I cried because through the choices he made throughout his life left him with no one and nothing. I cried because I did not know where he will spend eternity.

Over the next few days I prepared to make a trip to California. I wanted to go. I knew I needed to. I wanted to go to his apartment. I wanted to go to the coroner's and pick up his things.

My flight landed in Los Angeles early Sunday evening. I stayed with my in-laws in Orange County. Monday morning I drove to my brother's house and was welcomed by my two month old niece at the front door with a sign that read, "Welcome, Aunt Chris". It made me cry. She is beautiful and it was wonderful to see my brother and his wife with their first little bundle of joy.

My brother accompanied me to my father's apartment. There are so many details that I will not write here. There are so many things that I experienced that have changed me deeply within. All of my life I have longed to know this man. I walked through this tiny apartment with everything just as it was when he died, looking, searching for anything, something that would give a glimpse of what he thought or why he chose to live this way. I wish I could say that I found something. But I did not. Over the next two days I learned things that were hard to hear. I was thankful that most of what I did know was true. Some of it was still scene through some hopeful rosy colored lens of a young girl still dreaming that her daddy would call or come to see here. I walked down a street that others wouldn't dare, I went into a few places that others would have considered unsafe, I went to the post office just blocks from his apartment and stood in amazement at the two inch thick plexiglass that separated me from the U.S. postal worker. I sat in a small room behind more plexiglass at the coroner's building in downtown Los Angeles to receive his wallet, watch, keys and other personal items. I hugged the neighbor who found him. I took in everything I saw and experienced in some quiet hope of knowing just a little bit more about this man who I knew as "Daddy Jim." I returned to his apartment a second time in hopes of finding something before returning his keys to the apartment manager. I looked up at the three story apartment building in the bright California sun one last time before pulling away and driving off for the last time with tears streaming down my face.

He lived a life thankfully I have never known. He did things I will never fully know. Most would consider his life a waste. And in some ways it was, except that God chose him to be my father. And although I longed to know him, he made the choice to leave me alone. Alone to live what he never had. Alone to not see what he was or experience who he was. I do know it was intentional. I do know that he loved me.

Two Reflections ~ One Life

This was originally posted in April 2007

As I gaze at my husband’s face, I see the reflection of my mother in law in his life, her gentle touch, her warm embrace and her love for God and His word. But I also see the smile of another woman who laid her hands on her belly and thanked God for her unborn child.
Over forty one years ago, two sisters living not far from each other, both pregnant with their third child, but their lives and circumstances were miles apart. The older sister in her mid twenties was happily married and a new Christian. The younger sister was in her early twenties, separated from her estranged husband and expecting a baby from a man who was not her husband. Both were confronted with a very difficult and heart wrenching choice. A choice made by two women that only God could orchestrate. A choice made by each mother that no matter which way you looked at it, hearts would rejoice and hearts would feel pain.
The choice of a younger sister to give her baby to be adopted by her older sister was one in which she made knowing fully that her own future would not prove to be the best for this unborn child she carried in her womb. Her older sister by only a few years, also carrying new life in her womb, along with the love and support of her husband made the choice to adopt this child as their own. A decision, I am sure was done by the leading of the Holy Spirit for this young couple, but also filled with questions by curious on lookers.
Over forty years later this baby, whose life was forever changed by the loving choice of two women, is now sharing the gospel every week to hundreds of people, a husband to his wife for over twenty years and a loving father to five children. Both women sacrificed a great deal in order that he may experience life and the salvation of Jesus Christ.
My mother in law, the older sister, has reflected Christ to me through her love and willingness to give freely of herself and adopt a baby boy and bring new life not only to him but to his future all while expecting her own child. She was willing to put herself aside and become a living sacrifice unto the Lord. My mother and father in law proudly share that they were there at his birth and carefully swaddled this new bundle and took him home from the hospital. His younger sister was born just five weeks later.
Every year, as I celebrate the death and resurrection of my Lord and Savior and his willingness to go to the cross for me in order that I may have new life, I can't help but think of these two women. No they would never want to be compared to Christ in any way, for they both know from where their hope comes from, but I am so grateful that they were willing to put their fears aside and follow the plan that God had laid before them. Thank you Sara, my beautiful mother in law, for being a reflection of Him; And thank you Jessie, for trusting God with his life.

From Our House to Yours

Merry Christmas!

Three!

Today you are three! You brighten my day each and every day. Two wasn't so bad. I have to admit, I wish it wasn't over. Between legos and cars, you are forever by my side. Somewhere within my mother's heart I want to keep you little and snuggle you in my arms for many days to come. That is probably why I am accepting of your babbling and simple vocabulary. You have given me a complete lecture in some unknown language. I am not worried in the least. I know once the words start flowing they usually don't stop.

So, today I look forward to your smile when we sing, the bounce in your step, the moment when we sit down to pray and you insist that you pray (every time, every meal, every night) and the big "amen" at the end. It is a good thing that your sisters and brothers are so understanding.

Some things I don't want to forget. The joy in your voice and body when daddy walks through the door. Eee-o! The name you so affectionately call your brother (Theo). The way you walk and the wiggle when you run.

Happy 3rd Birthday Coleman!

ELEVEN!

Happy Birthday Theo! I remember this day eleven years ago like it was yesterday. From the moment they placed you in my arms I knew that God had placed a tender heart within this little man. As the younger brother to two sisters and the older brother to two younger brothers, you hold your position well. The girls look up to you and admire your strengths, and the little guys lean on you for help.

Someday you may ask me what you were like when you were ten. I would say you were compassionate and caring. I would say when I needed help with something, you were there. I would say that you loved school, did very well in school, had a gift for writing and it was the year you learned to play the trumpet. I would remind you that it was your first year in football. Number 52 to be exact and do you remember those blocks and the first time you recovered a fumble?

I would remind you of our family camping trip and the wild summer thunder storm we endured. But it is all the fishing you did in those three days that I won't forget. I would remind you of playing baseball, swimming at the pool, and all the snow days and that "Clue" was one of your new favorite board games.

I will remind you that I witnessed you pray each night on the bottom step of the ladder to your bunk and the many entries you have made in your journal. And someday if you ever ask me about when you were ten, I will say, "it was wonderful!"

Happy 11th Birthday Theo!

October 8, 1991

Sixteen years ago, I had just turned 28



You made your entrance and filled our lives with so much joy!



I had waited and waited to be blessed with my first child



You made me wait an extra two weeks!

I remember hearing the words, "It's a girl" and thinking later as I stared at your sweet face, "it didn't matter now if I have ten boys, I have a daughter to play with and grow old with."

You have been blessed with a sister to share life with and unfortunately only three brothers!

I prayed you would come to know Christ as your personal Lord and Savior.



You humble and amaze me with your desire to know Him and worship Him in Spirit and truth.



I watched you at the age of nine audition for a role in the Nutcracker and while other girls positioned themselves to be noticed, you stepped aside and took the hand of girl who was struggling and became her partner.



You didn't know you had done anything special!

I have watched you struggle through the places and things you love. I have prayed for God to bless you as you sing and do those things that don't always come naturally easy.



You have said to me, "you do it because you love it and will continue to do your best!"



I would have given up!



You persevere!





I know you are sweet sixteen today!







You reminded us this morning as we pulled into the parking spot at the County Building so that you could receive your driver's license.





I am flooded with memories (and tears) of the joy you bring into our life.





You are full of hope and excitement for the future and serving the Lord with your life.

I thank the Lord today for sixteen years of life.



You are ready to enjoy the fun and fellowship of your family and friends

Happy Birthday Lauren!

Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. 1 Timothy 4:12

October 1st

Thank you Lord for another year of life!

The gifts came from the beautiful words my husband expressed in his card, a two year old singing and his attempt to blow out the candles, my seven year old telling me, "I was the bestest mom he ever had!", the long and lingering hug of my ten year old son, the sweet caress and the many birthday wishes from my twelve year old daughter, and the unforgettable words of love and appreciation from my almost sixteen year old daughter.

Thank you Lord for these priceless gifts!

School Starts Thursday - Join me in prayer!

I can remember the feeling so well. The new clothes neatly layed across the chair usually with the same outfit hanging in the closet but in a different color. The new wallaby's barely out of the box that had just been purchased from Thom McCan. And of course who can forget the new underwear and socks. Never could I start a new school year without them. My favorites were the year I received the days of the week swirled in cursive across the front of each pair. New clothes, shoes, and even underwear are childhood memories of a new school year beginning.

I remember the butterflies fluttering through my stomach the night before and waking up while it was yet dark. My face was shining, nails were trimmed and I was ready for the new year.

Through the years I have tried to create some traditions with my kids for each new school year. Of course, it has always included at least one new outfit even it means a new pair of shorts and shirt found on the summer clearance rack since the weather is usually very hot. Each child gets to go out with either mom or dad to shop for a new pair of shoes. And who can forget school supplies. My kids look forward to filling their backpacks with new folders, pens and glue sticks.

But a few of our favorite traditions is the ridiculously huge breakfast we prepare and dad's back to school prayer for each kid. And who can forget the picture taken of the whole group every year in the same spot. The kids love looking back at the changes and their growth and I do too.

This year my oldest daughter who will be a sophomore at the high school is planning to meet with a group of friends at the school early on the first day to pray for their school year. I am so excited that they have taken the initiative to do this.

I would like to invite each of you to join me on Thursday morning as I pray for my own children, even if you have already started your school year. I would love to invite everyone over to pray in my living room but that is a physical impossibility or maybe not if you live near me ;). But what a wonderful opportunity we have to pray together via technology. I used to pray with one or two friends over the phone. Hopefully, Thursday I will be praying with many more.

Join me Thursday morning (August 23rd) as we pray for our children as they start a new school year. I will post a prayer for my own children. I would love to join you in prayer for yours. I will try and set up a Mr. Linky (this will be my first time) so that we can all hold hands and agree in prayer together for our children.

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Psalm 127:3

The Important Stuff!

Hunter (7) and my husband called to let me know they had arrived at camp and Hunter proceeded to tell me with sheer seven year old joy and excitement in his voice that their room did not have bunk beds like everyone else, but they had a BIG bed and that they didn't need to bring their pillows because the room came with pillows, two cokes and a couple of reese's peanut butter cups, his absolute favorite. These boys are happy!

August 6th Happy Birthday!!

This morning as I awoke and looked over to see you on your knees, I thought, "it is I who has received the gift today". Thank you for being a husband and father who has loved immensely, cared passionately and served fervently and faithfully. Thank you for being such a Godly example to me, our children, and the people God has brought you to serve. I pray on this your special day that God would bless you! Thank you Lord for another year and may you continue to be glorified through his life!

Happy Birthday to my one and only!!

My "Grandma" and a special visit.

My 91 year old grandma passed away a week ago and my husband and I were able to be a part of her funeral on Wednesday in California. We made the quick trip leaving early early Tuesday morning and returning on a red eye flight Wednesday night. Not a very good idea for two people who don't do the stay up all night thing very well. The funeral services were beautiful and the spot where she is buried is high on top of a hill directly under a huge tree right next to my grandpa. My husband did a beautiful job sharing a message of hope.


I have been thinking alot about our short trip. My brother was able to make it home from Iraq and it was wonderful to see him. We saw some of our siblings, cousins, uncles and other family members we haven't seen in years. But we made one very special stop.


Just three blocks from the ocean in downtown Long Beach on the third floor of an extremely modest apartment building lives a man who I have only known throughout my life as "daddy Jim". My mom married my dad when I was eighteen months old. He is my dad. I have only ever thought of him as my dad. He has been everything a dad should be and I am thankful that God blessed me with him. But obviously I had another "dad". That is where the name "daddy Jim" came from. Off and on as a young child I would go and visit my biological dad and somewhere he was given the name "daddy Jim" as not to confuse me since I called my dad "dad". Fast forward to today and leaving out a whole lot of details and history, I had not seen "daddy Jim" in over ten years. Last Monday when I was finishing up preparing for this trip, the Lord impressed upon my heart to contact him. I did! I know he is getting older and I didn't want to have any regrets for not making the effort to see him. I have known I needed to for several years but have not done so. And so on Tuesday morning after landing in Los Angeles we were on our way to Long Beach to visit him. I will save the details of our visit for another post since it was extremely emotional for me and I am not sure I could type through the tears.


I think it was wonderfully ironic that I would choose to go and seek him out before attending my grandma's funeral. She was my "dad's" mother and as a young girl she would often ask me if I ever hear from "daddy Jim". She genuinely cared and hoped that I would be able to see him and never never treated me as if I wasn't her very own granddaughter.


My brothers and I loved going to her house. It was always an adventure or at least we were hoping it would be. There was usually some buried treasure she was uncovering in some box. She could usually be found out in the yard pulling weeds or working on moving stuff around. She had a lot of "stuff". She never drove and could clean out a mayonnaise jar to the last drop. She loved dolls and scooped up all the orphans from the choc store downtown. She was an incredible seamstress. I have two handmade Raggedy Ann and Andy dolls to prove it. She made the best cinnamon rolls and my absolute favorite was her huge ginger snaps that were always piled high in a large glass jar with a slice of bread at the top to keep the cookies soft. But the thing I will most likely remember most about my grandma was Norwegian "lefse". I would beg her to make it. She made them from leftover mashed potatoes, shortening and flour. They looked like tortillas when cooked and tasted wonderful when sprinkled with a little butter and sugar.

Thank you grandma for all the wonderful memories!

All signs of God's blessings to me

Enjoy the laundry mountain and the flapping refrigerator door, and the screen forever open, and the flies challenging your wrist agility, and your name being called by voices of all pitches.....and keep the camera going! All signs of God's blessings to you

A dear friend sent me an email yesterday and this was the final paragraph. It was like she was standing in my home watching. Her words described the scene so well. But her words said something else that I don't want to soon forget. These are "all signs of God's blessings to me" It is so easy in the midst of it all (including the flies because the kids are continually leaving the screen door open) to forget that these children and their childhood is a "blessing to me." I have noticed some real changes this summer as my kids are getting older. We have very little to no routine, except that we know the pool opens at 1 o'clock. The summer bedtime is whenever we finally crawl into bed. Even our two year old is staying up way too late. Mealtime is 6 pm , 7:30 pm or maybe 9ish if we have been outside playing or whenever someone is hungry. Our family room is now the deck where we watch lightening bugs, tell stories or fly kites. Last night there was just enough breeze for three of our kids to get their kites in the air. It was very cool looking up to see a rocket, dragonfly, and huge rainbow colored shape high in the sky. So, I will keep the camera close, not worry about the laundry pile, ignore the continuous flapping of the refrigerator doors and treasure the many pitches of "mom" being called out throughout the day.

Here is one of my many blessings. I think he was saying, "get the fire started dad, I am ready for s'mores.!

My wonderful in-laws!

I'm home. Well, I have been home since Tuesday but my in-laws didn't leave until Thursday. We had a nice time away and a wonderful visit with my husband's parents. They took care of our five kids for six days. The kids were well cared for, the laundry was done and even after we arrived home my mother in law barely let me back in the kitchen. (I could get used to this) My father- in- law took over as the official taxi driver taking the kids to baseball games, the swimming pool and any other activities the kids had going on.

But our time together had to end and it was a hard good-bye. Mostly because we know it will probably be many many months until we see them again. The best part of their visit was how much they enjoyed our home, the church and the community where we live. They had not visited this part of the country before and really enjoyed what little they were able to see. I received a great blessing this morning when my mother-in-law called and said she missed me already. The feeling is mutual. My mother and father-in-law are such a gift to me. I appreciate them so much.

Seven!

Happy Birthday Hunter! You make my mother's heart smile everyday with your hugs and the twinkle in your eyes. I am so thankful to God for blessing my life with YOU! I never want to forget this season of your life with those long skinny arms and legs and a waist that barely holds your britches. Your songs of praise melt our heart and we all love to hear you pray! Our prayer is that you will continue to grow in Godly wisdom and that you would have a deep hunger to know God and His Word.

Happy Birthday! Hugs, Hugs, Hugs!