Super Bowl Sunday

Groceries for finger foods, drinks, and dessert...$23.87

Preparation of wings, veggies, and other foods...1 hour

Time spent eating, laughing, screaming and holding our breath while watching the big game...aprox. 4 hours

Cleaning up afterwards...30 minutes

Husband and Wife dancing during half-time show with five kids...priceless!

My Five

Outside Disneyland in Anaheim, California at Christmas

It's January

I have not blogged in so long, I don't even know where to begin. So I'll start with today. It is cold! It is well below zero and it is just plain cold. I don't think two weeks in California over Christmas helped me to prepare for the frigid temps we have had the last few days.

I took this photo yesterday for Carolyn. Sorry, no cute kids standing outside in this stuff. It was - 26 when I poked my head outside to grab a photo. We watched as the wind blew and drifted snow up against our house forming all kinds of fun shapes.
I loved Hunter's comment, "mom it may be cold outside but the snow is beautiful, especially the snow that has not been touched." He is right! The kids have been home from school for two days. I think they had cabin fever more yesterday than today. But then again I was gone for part of the day and maybe it was me.

I have been thinking alot lately about the start of a new year. I love a fresh clean page in a new journal or the look of an empty canvas waiting to be filled in with vibrant colors. For the last several weeks I have had a hopeful expectation over things.

In December I started working my way through Nancy Guthrie's study book on the Book of Hebrews titled, "Hoping for Something Better." But I couldn't get past the words, "In Jesus" in the second verse of chapter one. I was stuck. I knew that I needed to plant myself there and just let the words soak into my heart. Nancy says in her book, "In Jesus, God is saying, "I want to show you who I am." We would never know God if he did not speak to us. and he wants us to know him for who he really is, not for who we want to make him to be. So many times we want to make him into a God who suits our liking. We hear people say, "Well, the God I believe in would never.... or I believe God is....almost as if we can determine what God is like merely by the whims of our own imaginations. God doesn't need our help in designing his personality or deciding what he should be like. He is I AM, the eternal, self-existing one. And he wants us to see him and know him for who he really is." Nancy then takes you through the character of God. And this is where I am planted. The more I learn, the more I realize how little I know. I feel like a wilted plant sometimes who is instantly propped back up once I have been given a drink of the Living Word.

Last week as we watched the introduction video on the Book of Esther, Beth Moore shared with us that the book offers tremendous "hope". She defined biblical hope as an anxious expectation. I love when God ties things together for me and keeps speaking the same things over and over. It sometimes takes a neon light flashing "hope" to get my attention.

Tomorrow marks a year since I received a phone call that my dad had died. My heart still aches at times over what I never knew. As a young teenage girl I had always dreamed of spending Christmas with my dad, just once. I never did. I know why God wants to teach me about hope, His hope. He desires to bring hope to those places in our hearts that only He can fill.

In Christ, I have tremendous hope for 2009. Without Him there is no hope.

It's tough being a woman

It began today! I am so excited to be offering this study to the ladies of our church. This morning a wonderful group of women gathered to watch the introductory lesson. There were three newbies to our normal Tuesday morning group and that makes me super happy.

Tonight another group of women are meeting. I am excited to see what the Lord will do with this group of 18 - 30ish year olds. This group is not exclusively for this age group but I hope to address some things women are faced with during this season of their life. Mostly, I pray their hunger for God and His word will increase.

A third group of ladies will be gathering on Thursday night in a home. This is something new and we are praying this additional opportunity will allow even more women an opportunity to study the word together.

If you live in the area...join us!

4 Years Old

Hold your fingers up high Coleman!

Today is the day you are 4!

I am so blessed to be called your mommy!

I am so thankful for such a sweet and amazing gift this day four years ago!

Happy Happy Birthday sweet boy!

It's December

All day yesterday I kept telling myself, "it's December already?"


I should be thinking about decorating but instead I am thinking about cleaning. My home has been severely neglected over the past couple of months and I can't picture myself hanging up or displaying one Christmas decoration until some of the dust is removed.

This morning while walking on the treadmill, I was grumbling to the Lord about the condition of my home. My closets are a mess, the dust is thick, the floors, the refrigerator, the bathrooms, it all needs to be done. And by the way the laundry and suitcases are still on my living room floor. I was talking to Him about all of my attempts over the years to keep my home neat and orderly and how I continually come up short. I have followed plans. I have made some great schedules and created some wonderful charts, but nothing makes the task any easier or less demanding. The only thing I haven't tried is hiring a maid and I know that won't happen. And besides I would have to clean before the maid came, so that would be pointless.

I came home after my walk and started putting away groceries when somewhere between putting away the box of oatmeal and the apples I heard the Lord's still small voice whisper, "what are you trying to build?" I know, I know is what I thought to myself (I just studied the book of Daniel and I know what happens when we try and build our own agenda) but it still doesn't get my house clean. And again, the nudging as I put away the carrots and milk, "whose kingdom are you trying to build?" It is like a huge sign that I keep ignoring until I am about to hit it again. I think for the past year God has been trying to teach me something. He stops me in my tracks continually and forces me to look at my motives, the blueprint of my heart, the reason for wanting something or doing something and sadly when I am honest with myself, it is about me and how I want to appear to others or what I hope to accomplish, not about Him.

God has given me everything I need. Including the ability to clean my house. And if you have never thought of housecleaning as a spiritual act, just start talking to the Lord about it and I am sure he will reveal some dust.

Through wisdom a house is built, And by understanding it is established; By knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches. Proverbs 24:3-4

Home Sweet Home

There is nothing like coming home. It doesn't matter how fun the trip was, I always look forward to getting home and sleeping in my own bed. We had hoped the drive coming home would be shorter, but it wasn't. It is still a 14 hour drive to Colorado no matter which way we go.

But what does it mean when you come home and a huge red bow is attached to your garage door, red ribbon wrapped around the front of the house, and a wreath made of red forks is hanging by the door? (I wish I would have taken a picture)

a) don't ever leave again because your house is fair game?
b) someone just paid off the loan on your house and is gifting it to you?
c) the forty or so people who beautifully decorated the church last Sunday for Christmas wanted to make sure they shared their talents with us personally?
d)someone is mad at us and couldn't bring themselves to "toilet paper" us so instead decided to "bow" us? (this tells me women were involved?)
e)someone discovered how much I love the color red and wanted to bless me?

Any guesses??

Thanksgiving Day

I awoke this morning to some familiar sounds from my childhood. I could hear my mom in the kitchen. Cupboard doors were being opened and shut. The clanging of pots and pans and the sound of running water echoed through the house as she cleaned and prepared the Thanksgiving Turkey for cooking.

She always enjoyed getting up before anyone else and putting the turkey in the oven so that by the time everyone else was awake and breakfast was being started, this part of her day was complete.

My parents home has a huge window that faces Pikes Peak. This morning the sun was shining right over the top of the mountain and you could see it's snow capped top perfectly. It was a beautiful site!

The day has been quiet and very relaxing. The boys have spent alot of time outside. The girls watched a fun movie.

The food today was wonderfully familiar and generous. My uncle and cousin joined us for our simple gathering. We read allowed Psalm 100 and prayed together.

There are so many changes in every one's life that sat around the table today. Most are too personal to blog about. We each have so much to thank the Lord for even in the midst of change.

As I look back over this year, I am thankful to the Lord for all that He is doing to change me. I don't want to change. But the Lord in His loving way nudges me along and as I look at the difficulties ahead as a result of change, I am also tempted to glance back at what seemed comfortable and familiar and want to stay there.

I am sitting quietly tonight with Coleman sleeping soundly next to me in a dimly lite bedroom. I am ready for bed. I have written down all that I am thankful for from this past year even the really difficult times. I don't just want to thank the Lord for the good stuff. I want to never forget the really hard stuff and how He has carried me through.

A Thankful Heart

It's late. I am sitting in a bedroom in my parents home. Everyone else is asleep. I should be too, but today is my mom's birthday and I think the piece of chocolate cake eaten about an hour ago is keeping me awake.

My parents retired and moved to Colorado a year and a half ago. This is the first time I have seen their new home. I am so grateful to be here.
It had been just over a year since I had seen my Mom and Dad. Too long! The distance and the busyness of life had prevented an earlier visit.

But we are all together now and I am so thankful!

Our family has taken many long road trips. Living apart from extended family for the past eight years as allowed for us to spend many hours in the car together driving down the interstate. I have grown to absolutely love road trips. This time was no exception. The only difference was the kids are older and take up much more room in the car. The challenges of keeping everyone comfortable can be cause for some tense moments. But we make it through and everyone tries really hard to work together. Road trips will be on the list of memorable moments in our children's life. (or at least I can hope so)

Road trips provide something else for me though. It is a time to talk. Long hours on the road with no where to go but buckled in your seat allow us to talk through all that is going on in our life. And the rest of us have to listen.

It is a time to think. Just when everyone is starting to feel a bit irritable, we have thirty minutes of silence. No talking, just thinking. It's my favorite time.

It is a time to reflect. There is no where for the kids to run off to, so we usually have some moments on the road trip where we encourage them to reflect on all that God has done in our lives as a family, and for His grace and His goodness.

But out of fear of sounding like peace and joy ooze from our vehicle as we head down the highway at seventy-five miles an hour, we have plenty of sibling arguing, whining, and cranky people in the car too. It is almost comical at times to watch us go from deep conversations to absolute frustration over the next kid asking, "how much longer?"

It was a long trip this time. But another road trip has been logged and I am so thankful to be here.

What are you dreaming of?

This is the title of the next chapter in a book I am reading by Nancy Guthrie. And this is the first statement I came to today as I opened the book where I left off....

Are your dreams molded by the culture we live in and what this world values and recognizes? Or have your dreams been shaped and reborn as the Holy Spirit remakes you and as the Word of God renews your mind? Nancy Guthrie

...after reading it, I closed the book and realized before I go on, I need to ask myself this question and ponder the answer.

A look at Fall

This afternoon I put away the light coats since the weather doesn't seem to be promising the temperatures that we so enjoyed a week ago. The leaves have been beautiful this year. Last week on what may have been one of our last warm days of the season, Coleman and I took a little nature walk while waiting for school to get out. We sat under this tree for about a half hour in the afternoon sun. He played with sticks, leaves, and found a few bugs, while I just enjoyed the quiet moments with him. And by the way I love the way the photo above turned out. I was trying to capture the color of these leaves not noticing the barren trees off in the distance and what a beautiful contrast it makes. I couldn't help but ponder the season that we are in and how quickly the seasons change with our kids. It seems when they are little the days can feel long and then one day you look up and ask yourself, "what happen?" The changes are coming so quickly you can't seem to keep up.





Hunter is in his third year of soccer and still loves it. He played in two tournaments this fall and we were so thankful for the beautiful weather. One day while walking across the soccer field and looking over at a college game being played he said, "when I grow up I want to be a professional soccer player and a pastor."

Kelsey played 7th grade volleyball and loved it. She had a great season! We loved going to her games and even enjoyed traveling to the away games. Her only complaint was that the season was too short. She is loving Junior High and we are loving watching her grow and change.


Theo had an extremely fun year in football. He made some new friends and played really well. He is #54 in this photo. The best part was that he spent the entire season with his dad as one of the coaches. I loved hearing them come through the door at night talking about the game and what they had learned. It was a sweet time. Theo is my kid who has changed the most over this past year. Everything about him is changing. It is also fun to watch. (note to self - I need to write a post about this)

Lauren has been busy with football cheerleading and musical. Thankfully she has her license and now her own car. It is hard for me to believe we are in the final years of high school with her. I feel at times it was yesterday we started Kindergarten.

A lady asked me today what I enjoyed most about being able to be at home with my kids, and I told her, "getting the front row seat in my child's life."

It's not about me

Yesterday I had one of those very sobering days when the reality of life as others have and are experiencing it through their grief, their hurt, their pain, their illness, their lack, and even their sin was heavy on my heart. It is so easy to go about life and lose sight of what others are carrying around in their own heart and only be consumed with myself and what I need to get done or where I need to be.

It all started with Beth Moore and so many of the things she said as we walked through Daniel chapter 11 together. I wrote this real big in my notes, "If we miss the sacrificial life, we miss our calling." (Romans 12:1) The theme that has ran through this entire study has been, "it's not about us." Our post modern Christian culture wants to understand people quickly, provide a quick solution and keep everything organized and comfortable. Jesus never said it would be easy, but instead He gave us many examples of how much it would cost. Our culture screams as it must have in Babylon to take care of yourself, think of yourself, self, self, self. Let's be honest we are obsessed with our self. And therefore if we don't like it, or how it makes us feel we look for something else. And as Beth Moore so beautifully stated, "spiritual gifts take time to grow and mature and surprise it's not about you."

As my day continued on, it was a email, a phone call, a conversation of what others are facing and how completely selfish I feel at times for worrying about my little pinkie problems of the day when others are experiencing a mountain of pain, worry and grief. From a very broken and lost young woman, to a sweet momma sitting by her daughter's side, to the suffering of those watching loved ones fight for their life, to this precious mother whose grief I don't pretend to understand. I asked her if I could send a link her way and she said, "it would be completely fine." So, today would you all take a few minutes and read Amie's post. But don't just read it, leave her a note of encouragement.

I pray that like the woman at Bethany my life and yours would be poured out, completely empty of ourselves and a living sacrifice for Him. It's not about me.

Twelve

He is totally twelve!

Happy Birthday Theo!

Today

Yesterday I found great comfort in God's Word during Bible Study after our discussion on Daniel chapter nine and the teaching from Daniel chapter ten. I sat quietly in my seat and thought to myself that no matter what happens today, God is on the throne. He is the Ancient of Days. He knows.

The words of Daniel 2:20-22 that he spoke after God had revealed to him the secret of Nebuchadnezzar's dream are what is on my heart today...

Daniel answered and said: " Blessed be the name of God forever and ever, For wisdom and might are His. And He changes the times and the seasons; He removes kings and raises up kings; He gives wisdom to the wise And knowledge to those who have understanding. He reveals deep and secret things; He knows what is in the darkness, And light dwells with Him. Daniel 2:20-22

My husband has taught from the book of Revelation over the past four weeks. And the message that it brings is HOPE. Although there are still many things that I don't fully grasp, I have HOPE. We know how it all ends so therefore we don't live as if we have no hope, but one who understands that He is "the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End, the First and the Last. Revelation 22:13

My little Artist

Pumpkins..Pumpkins..Pumpkins

It all started a few weeks ago when Hunter (8) informed us that he has never carved a pumpkin. I pulled up the archives in my mind of pumpkin carving in our family knowing that it was not in my favorites and recalled that he was probably "three" the last time we had cut open one of those big orange beasts. I usually enjoy the collecting, displaying, and photographing of them, but not carving so much.


So I decided that since this was so important to him, I would make it important to me. First, I made sure everyone was going to be home at the same time. This is getting tricky these days and the reality that it will only continue is hitting home hard. But that is a post for another day.





Next, we covered the table with cardboard and
my husband started the party with cutting off
the tops. Let the fun begin.....


Hunter was determined to save every seed for either planting or roasting. The slimy mess was everywhere.



Coleman wasn't sure if he was ready to dig in. Just removing the top was enough for him.

They each determined what their pumpkin's face would look like. I was on serious knife duty. Praying that no one would lose a finger.

Hunter was involved in every detail.....

It was important that his pumpkin face had two new teeth to match the two that he is getting.

Meet the "Pumpkins"

He Knows!

"I know my own sheep" John 10:14

God knows me. He knows it all. He is the Ancient of Days. He knows my public persona and my private pettiness. He knows what lights the fire of my soul and what dampens the flame within me. He knows how I struggle, even now, between self-pity and self sacrifice. Even if I want to hide my inner thoughts and motives from him, I can't. He knows my deepest regrets and my secret longings. He knows!

The thought that "He knows" has given me so much comfort over the last few weeks. He knows the answers to the questions that swirl around in my mind, even if I don't. Oh, how painful and at the same time pleasurable it is to be fully known! Such a relief that I do not have to put on pretenses, yet such a rub to have all my weaknesses exposed. And then I remember that he is the Good Shepherd. His full knowing of me doesn't cause him to recoil; it reminds him of why he came - to lay down his life for me. Knowing I've done nothing to deserve it, and knowing that at times I will stray from his flock, he has chosen to lay down his life for me and he invites me to know him in an in intimate way. Even though he knows the real me, he wants me to follow him now and for eternity. He wants to be with me! He knows me!

(adapted from a devotion in Nancy Guthrie's book on Hope)

What am I doing...

• Trying to recover from a very busy Fall season with the kids which is slowly winding down.
• Enjoying the light rain today and the cooler weather which allowed me to turn on our fireplace.
• Caring for a sick girl and secretly enjoying the time alone with her.
• Trying to go through kids clothes and purge purge purge while...
• Listening to a message "Hoping In God" given by a sweet friend.
• Looking at the title of a book I recently picked up sitting on my table which is also titled "Hope" and realizing this is often how the Lord speaks to me. He puts several things on the same subject right in front of me so that I don't miss it.
• Praying for several who are ill and hurting and needing to feel His Hope.
• Understanding more today that caring for a home and family is a gift even when it is overwhelming and everyone is pulling at you all at the same time.
• Needing to finish this post and take some notes of this message before returning to the clothes piles and before the clock strikes..."it's time to go pick up kids from school."
• Thankful that He is the Ancient of Days and so thankful for the message this week in the book of Daniel. He knows and always has!

So I don't forget

Eight year old Hunter's Awana teacher called me Wednesday night after church to inform me that Hunter indeed knew the books of the bible. He recited them to her as:

Ezra..Nehemiah..Esther..Job..Psalms..and........Problems


we laughed so hard...it hurt. it was great.

SEVENTEEN!

Dear Lauren,

Happy Birthday! It has been a beautiful day today. The weather was absolutely gorgeous and it is a glorious day.

We had nothing big planned for the day, but instead just some family time. Your sister and brothers all made you cards and decorated your room after school to surprise you when you came home. As usual you were absolutely delighted and enjoyed every ounce of their effort. I peeped in on you this morning as you ran out to cheerleading practice in the wee hours of the morning, received the warmth of your smile as you darted off to school, and caught the joy in your eyes as you ate your dinner and headed off to youth group. Something in me wanted to grab you and make you stop. But I know I can't.

Seventeen years ago you made me a mom for the very first time and it seems each year goes by faster and faster. I am so thankful to the Lord for giving me such a gift in you. I just wanted to be a mommy, but He far exceeded my expectations.

Your compassion for others truly blesses me. I am humbled by your mercy and desire to see those who are hurting healed and those in need provided for. The only thing you asked for your birthday was to take a trip to Chicago to visit and pray for a young man from your school who is laying in a hospital bed. I asked if you were serious, and you said, "yes". I often say to myself, "when I grow up, I want to be just like her."

I love these photos of you because it was a very special day (date) you and I shared. I will treasure the memory, the moments and the conversation.

October 8, 1991 I sat in the hospital room at the end of the hallway in awe of the baby girl I held in my arms. Today I stand in awe of the young lady that God has placed before me.

Love,

Mom