Over the past several months I have been looking for solitude. I have been looking for a quiet place to reflect, to meditate on the Word of God, to ponder all that He has done and all that His word promises. I have stepped away from certain things in my life like blogging trying to force myself to be still before the Lord. It is hard in the midst of a busy life to be still, let alone try and find a quiet place. But I also realize that other things such as hurt, grief, difficult circumstances and pain cause us to step away from things that we once enjoyed as well.
A friend recently asked me why I didn't blog anymore? I told her the time it takes not just to write a post, but also the time it requires to read others posts. I also told her that I have come to a place where sharing so much of myself (or maybe so little of myself) to the world wide web all of a sudden seemed strange. I am still grappling with that a bit, but praying about where to go with this.
One of the things that has helped is a study I have been apart of titled, "Discerning the Voice of God" by Priscilla Shirer. It has been speaking to so many places in my life. It has been one of those studies that you wonder if she wrote it while listening to your thoughts. I have hi-lighted or underlined almost every page in the book as well as written all over the margin.
She has fabulous quotes in the book and this is one of many: "Whoever seeks God as a means toward desired ends will not find God. The mighty God, the maker of heaven and earth, will not be one of many treasures, not even the chief of all treasures. He will be all in all or He will be nothing. God will not be used. his mercy and grace are infinite and His patient understanding is beyond measure, but He will not aid men in their selfish striving after personal gain. He will not help men to attain ends which, when attained, usurp the place He by every right should hold in their interest and affection." A.W. Tozer
It's those words, "selfish striving" which jump off the page. I see so many places in my life where I strive. Even in that which seems good and right. Recently the Lord brought me to a familiar verse in Psalm 46. Verse 10 says, "Cease striving and know that I am God." It was like a cool breeze on a hot day which carefully moves across your face and brings the comfort you were needing.
Now I am learning how to apply this word to my everyday busy life.