In the midst of a very busy season of life I have been completely captivated by the study of the book of Esther. This morning I finished my last few days of homework and I cried. The journey has been incredibly personal for me. One in which I know I need to record but I am deeply afraid.
So, I begin with the end. "God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes." (Psalm 18:24, The Message)
This is the last verse in our homework. In session three way back on January 20th, one of the many things that has caused me to look more intently at my life was her point "Remember, destiny appoints one but affects many." She shared this in context to Esther and what she was facing in chapter four. She went on to share, "The revelation of a person's destiny always demands a revelation of the person. Consider the wording "if you remain silent at this time." The Hebrew word translated silent in this verse can also be translated conceal."
Beth Moore went on to share, "One of the most important parts of fulfilling our destiny is transparency and it is extremely risky!"
So, back to the verse in Psalm 18:24. It took me back to a girl who sat on the edge of her bed in a humble bedroom at a tender and very influential age who decided that she would follow God no matter what. Little did she know what this decision would require. As the years have gone by, and so much has taken place, I can still see in myself this young girl, but I also see a woman who has "remained silent". I don't know yet what God wants me to say. I am absolutely afraid to open my mouth. But I have completely entrusted my heart to Him, and I know He can handle my mouth.