The past week or so I have felt the mental, emotional, and spiritual demands of being a mom. The very thought of being someones "mom" has brought me to tears. The love that these children give me in spite of who I am, or what I have done, or what I continue to do and say is so remarkable. A child's love is so pure, genuine, forgiving, and perfectly wonderful. They love their mamas and trust them immeasurably. I believe God created us this way.
Learning to trust God with these lives He has so lovingly entrusted to me is one of the hardest things I have had to do.
I know I am not alone. We all dream of our children growing up happy, successful, beautiful, loving and as God honoring and fearing adults.
I know I am not alone. We all start out in this mothering role with hopes and dreams of our little guys doing well in school, playing sports, revealing wonderful talents and gifts right from the start.
I know I am not alone. I have been through the ballet classes, gymnastics meets, baseball games, and auditions to see all the parading mommies hoping their special child will be the "One". The "one" who shines above the rest, who is selected as the best, or who remains first through the test.
But what do we do as moms when our little "one" is not the best or doesn't' stand out among the rest? Or maybe doesn't even come close? How do we pray? As a mom in the midst of it, it is sometimes difficult to see that God's plans are always the best. We pray the scripture that says, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." But we hurt as our child hurts. We cry as our child crys or walks away after being told they aren't the best. We hold on to the promises God has given to us as moms and for our children.
edited: (I removed my daughter's photo)
My eleven year old daughter, Kelsey, said to me the other day as we were discussing some of the difficulty she was having with her school work, "why didn't God give me better brains?" I have to tell you that at that very moment I did not have an answer. In my weariness, I could not bring up any great spiritual wisdom from anywhere within me. As she began to cry and say, "mom, I have struggled in 1st grade, 2nd grade, 3rd grade..and so on", I began to weep with her. I wanted and still do so badly to fix this. I want to do something. I wanted to take away the memory of the struggle and replace it with beautiful memories of fun and success. But I can't. My husband and I have prayed for this little girl, looked at everything prayerfully in her little life, we have sought the extra academic help and so on. But as a mama, it is so difficult to bear. I know I am not alone. I want God's best for my child.
As I spent yesterday afternoon cleaning and taking care of things in my home, I prayed for this girl. I prayed for wisdom. I prayed against the standards the world as set up and labeled "successful" in my daughter's life. I thanked the Lord for giving me this child (I had a difficult and scary pregnancy). I thanked the Lord that she is fearfully and wonderfully made just as God had fashioned her before the foundations of the earth. I recalled and prayed many of the promises he has given me for her and through some of the challenges we have already faced and His faithfulness in it all.
And than this morning in my in-box was the most beautiful words of encouragement from the only person who I had mentioned this little conversation to. A gentle and wonderful reminder from the Lord. Here is some of what she said in part as she has explained her own daughter's struggles in school. I have to tell you before you read this that I know her daughter and she is truly a remarkable, beautiful, and extremely talented young woman of God.
I have had so many talks with her over the years to help her see that the brains aren't what God wanted her to excel at- that it could have very well gotten in the way of His plans if she was straight A and locked into that. She has a boldness and a love to share her faith that has born fruit in junior high, high school, college, Australia, Mexico, Venezuela, Argentina, and now Kenya. And school was hard for her. Sunday she will sing of her Lord in front of maybe 6,000 people. Not because she did well in school. God has great plans for Kelsey. She is fearfully and WONDERFULLY made to bring glory to God. Keep cheering her on, Momma. You were chosen to be her mommy and so get out your pom-poms and go at it!
Words cannot express my appreciation to this dear friend. She may never understand what "new" life her words gave to this weary mom. A mom who wants only what God has planned for her little girl. But I think she does know for she has prayed and watched God do this for not just one girl, but two, and one more who is still on her way. And of course I won't forget the three sons, one son-in-law, one daughter-in-law and six (almost seven) grandkids.
So I am off to make poms poms in my heart and cheer this girl to the finish.
I have never won anything, but I rarely if ever enter contests or other things like this. But this jewelry is so cute and I know someone who would love this necklace so I thought I would join in on the contest fun at 5Minutes4Mom.