He Knows!

"I know my own sheep" John 10:14

God knows me. He knows it all. He is the Ancient of Days. He knows my public persona and my private pettiness. He knows what lights the fire of my soul and what dampens the flame within me. He knows how I struggle, even now, between self-pity and self sacrifice. Even if I want to hide my inner thoughts and motives from him, I can't. He knows my deepest regrets and my secret longings. He knows!

The thought that "He knows" has given me so much comfort over the last few weeks. He knows the answers to the questions that swirl around in my mind, even if I don't. Oh, how painful and at the same time pleasurable it is to be fully known! Such a relief that I do not have to put on pretenses, yet such a rub to have all my weaknesses exposed. And then I remember that he is the Good Shepherd. His full knowing of me doesn't cause him to recoil; it reminds him of why he came - to lay down his life for me. Knowing I've done nothing to deserve it, and knowing that at times I will stray from his flock, he has chosen to lay down his life for me and he invites me to know him in an in intimate way. Even though he knows the real me, he wants me to follow him now and for eternity. He wants to be with me! He knows me!

(adapted from a devotion in Nancy Guthrie's book on Hope)